


She Dreamt

by lannclan



Series: Jaime/Brienne Endgame [1]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: F/M, Grief/Mourning, Heartbreak, Romance, Temporarily Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-29
Updated: 2020-09-29
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:07:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26716486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lannclan/pseuds/lannclan
Summary: Brienne mourns the person she loved more than anyone. Love just kicks you in the chest, doesn't it?
Relationships: Cersei Lannister/Jaime Lannister, Jaime Lannister/Brienne of Tarth
Series: Jaime/Brienne Endgame [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2056512
Comments: 7
Kudos: 33





	She Dreamt

Her chest hurt after she had cried her heart out. 

Knights cannot cry. Women cry. Stop. 

The worst part was knowing deep down that this would happen. She always knew. Love was always led to her being lured into traps. It happened with Renly, and now with him. With him, the pain was far worse.

This was the kind of intense love she would never feel until death claimed her life. How often was it that people shared the trauma of being tortured by the Brave Companians or simly knowing only one person cared if you lived or not in that period they were hostages. The love consummed her around the time he saved her from the bear. 

She remembered watching him make the joke about the sapphires and wondering what sort of person would joke with his tormentor. All the rumours about the Kingslayer being brave were true. But there was that feeling of trust when she walked along side him after. He never smiled. He was deep in thought, maybe worried about how his family would receive him. 

It got worse when he cleaned himself up to the point he was nearly unrecognisable. There wasn't a knight in King's Landing more polished. Dressed in the most expensive leather from neck to toe and his hair cropped and free of lice. A few scars left on his face were the only marks of evidence of their shared history. Even the golden hand covered up the stump. That made her realise she would never him, even if she dreamt of love. 

Cersei had demanded if she loved Jaime. Brienne had not known what love was. She thought it meant thinking someone was perfect, like how Renly was to her. She didn't know it could start off with hatred, grudging respect and then the kind of passionate love that made you lose your wits. 

Cersei thanked her for saving her brother. Brienne made the mistake of correcting her. Even crippled, and malnourished, Jaime had done the saving. He was able to think on his feet and got her out of danger. Until he got too cocky and lost his arm. His scream still made her full of contempt for all of those cowardly men that were no match if they had dueled Jaime. He would have beaten her easily by the bridge if he had been healthy. It was a waste of prodigal talent. Brienne was by no means an ordinary knight, but Jaime was in a completely different league despite not being her match in terms of strength. The only man who might have been a suitor. After all, she always wanted to be with a man who could beat her. 

She realised bit by bit that her love was the sort of sickeningly sweet kind. That foolish sort of love that had you dreaming of kisses and walking on the sandy island of Tarth.  
She dreamt of him. She had hoped he would dream of her in the same way. He had said that once. But did it mean anything once he got back to his perfect beautiful sister. Her beauty hurt Brienne. It made her feel even more ugly and remembering that Jaime was as beautiful, pained her even more. 

Looks were useless to her when she had a sword. But love could make one dream. 

If she had been pretty, would he have stayed? 

He made her feel beautiful when they were in Winterfell. His gentle eyes shone with admiration and pride. That made her heart swell everytime. The first night with him had started off too quickly until he noticed her hands shook when she dropped her breeches. He had lifted a freckled hand and pressed his lips against it. And then it went slow and sensual. That made her remember why she trusted him. 

He went back for Cersei. Anticipating that did not make her chest hurt any less. God, no it was the sense of doom after. Jaime's love for his sister had been pure even if Cersei treated him like shit. Jaime's love was never hallow. He would have done the same for anyone he loved. But the last moments with him would torment her forever. His last words confirming he would love his other half forever, and would die for her. 

Brienne did not care if he was serving Daenerys or Cersei. That was up to him. It was his arms she wanted to be in. She wanted to hear his heart beating when she rested her head on his chest. 

Gods, it made her so angry with herself for believing in love. It never ended well. She had received a letter from Tyrion about the fate of Jaime. She had screamed softly into a pillow, realising those green soft eyes would never blink or look back at her. No more. 

The feelings welled up every moment she got reminded of him. Even looking at Oathkeeper made her remember the first person who believed in her. She often dreamt of him, although it wasn't the same. There wasn't any banter. It was always too perfect. She would be holding his stump and he would trace that scar on her cheek in turn.  
There was that promise. A whisper.  
It will always be yours.  
She could dream, couldn't she? 

The day she closes her eyes forever, she would dream forever and all pain would be swept away. 

And they had their first words in the afterworld

~~

'Wench, I've been waiting for you.'

And then both of them wept.

'I dreamt of you the whole time I lived.'

'It's over now, Brienne. We can stay here.'

She let his warm arms wrap around her and sniffed the golden hair at the top of his head. 

That was all she ever wanted. We don't choose who we love.

**Author's Note:**

> Brienne's thoughts were inspired by the books mostly. She tends to put Jaime on a pedestal sometimes because she is truly a romantic, despite it seeming like she is cool and logical in the tv show.


End file.
